The Tyranny of Sleep

Sometimes I feel like I resent sleep a little bit.  It’s a bit of a funny thing because I need sleep and when I get enough of it, I feel rested and alert and I’m able to do the things that I want to do.  I also don’t generally enjoy waking up from it.  But it just takes so much of my time!

My smart phone keeps track of my sleep.  I’m not sure exactly how it does this and I’m fairly certain that it is not accurate.  It tells me that I am averaging less than 6 hours a night which I think is low.  I don’t feel good getting six hours a night.  If I go to bed at 11 I have a hard time getting myself right out of bed at 5 when I try to.  I’m also not sure how it figures out when I go to bed.  I guess it’s a smart phone after.  Maybe I should trust it.

But imagine how much more I could get done if I only had to sleep for four or five hours, or not at all!  That would give me a third of a day more!  I would be able to finish my book without any trouble.  I could pick up a new hobby.

I had another board meeting on Monday that went to almost midnight again and I’ve got another one tomorrow night.  That’s unusual for one week.  We have a meeting with the church on Sunday that we need to get ready for.  So it’s not as if this is something to expect regularly.  I’m also leading worship on Sunday so I have to do some preparation for that.

So, the takeaway from this is that I had trouble dragging myself out of bed for the past two days.  But the best thing is that I’m feeling good through all of this.  It seems unlikely that I’ll be able to get in the writing time to finish my book in two months time, but there’s still hope.  I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve yet.  I feel really good about stepping onto the board.  I think it’s going to take up more time than I had expected but I feel like it’s an important thing that we’re doing and I’m happy to be a part of it.

I had this dream when I was thinking about whether or not I should accept the position where Jesus was leading me out across a stormy sea to a boat being tossed by the waves.  I thought I might have written about it here already, but I couldn’t find it.  When I woke up from the dream I knew pretty clearly that whatever I decided about stepping onto the board that I was going to drown if I didn’t accept divine help through it all.

I feel like I’m doing pretty well with that.  There are some mornings where I get up to write and I find myself wanting to just spend the time in prayer.  I find that I just want to be quiet and to rest in the presence of God.  It’s not always a remarkable time.  It’s not as if amazing things happen during that time, but God meets me in the quietness and I come out of it with insight and with some small degree of serenity.  I feel like it’s time well spent.

I’ve been noticing that this peace has been staying with me through my days in a greater degree than it was a year ago.  Every once in a while I will take note of the fact that I’m feeling a sense of wellbeing for no good reason in the midst of busyness or despite feeling like I’m not making the most of my time and to be honest I’m a bit surprised by it all.  I like it.

I still haven’t come up with my plan for finishing that book.  It’s been a week since I toyed with the idea and I actually haven’t made a lot of progress but I’m ready to jump in.  My time may not be multiplying and it seems unlikely that I’ll be able to eliminate sleep from my life, but I think my head is in the right place and that may be the most important thing.  I don’t see my time multiplying for me any time in the near future but if I can step into the time I do have with a clear mind and a will to work I just might get something done, whether I’m tired or not.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *