I just missed two days in a row. I actually have two unfinished posts in my drafts folder, one titled Lent Day 35, and another Lent Day 36. Now I’ve started Lent Day 37. I’m going to finish this one.
The past two days were unusually full. I’ve recently become a member of the Board at my church and we had our first meeting on Monday – it went into the wee hours – well, past midnight anyway, which isn’t really the wee hours, but it’s later than you would expect a board meeting to go. Lots of big stuff to decide. It’s a bit of a crucial time at our church, which is why I decided to take it on. I want to be a part of it. But it didn’t leave any time for me to finish the post I started in the morning.
Then yesterday I left early to drive to London (Ontario) which is two hours away. I had a meeting to attend for work, which is very unusual, but not unprecedented. Then once I got back to Toronto and returned the car, I needed to race home so that I could drive back the way I came, but this time to Hamilton so that my son and I could help out a friend with some video footage he is shooting for a touring one-man show he is putting together.
That one went until after eleven which meant that we didn’t get home until after midnight. My son was so exhausted but he had a blast. He certainly enjoyed the on-camera work. It’s always kind of fun to do that stuff, but when he wasn’t needed in the studio, he could sit in the green room and watch TV shows and eat snacks. That was the real bonus of the whole thing, and it was a really big TV too. When we watch movies at home we always watch it on our laptop which is decidedly small, even for a TV.
So I didn’t get to finish the post I started yesterday either, although to be honest, there wasn’t really much there to speak of. I got up to write, but my wife’s parents are visiting and my father-in-law was in the kitchen so I ended up chatting with him which was nice since I wasn’t finding much time elsewhere to spend with them, what with my late nights and going to work.
On top of that I’m trying to find time to nail things down for the Good Friday service on Friday (the fact that the Good Friday service would be on Friday should go without saying, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence without saying it).
I feel like it’s understandable, but losing two days like that makes me feel a bit grumpy. It leaves me feeling frustrated about my lack of time, and then for some strange reason when I actually sit down to write, I don’t want to write. It’s like I have a hard time facing the missed posts. I feel like I have nothing to write.
I’ve heard it said that success breeds success, and I supposed that failure would then breed failure, but I find that losing ground breeds discouragement and it leaves you feeling like falling farther behind. So in those cases if you’re going to make progress, sometimes it requires an exertion of will. When I feel like I don’t want to write because I’m only going to write garbage, then sometimes I need to write some garbage.
It’s like those times when you have to let the tap run for a bit in order to get to the clean water. Now I’m not saying that this post is garbage – maybe not my best, but it’s something. I think the beauty of writing or of talking or of singing or whatever it might be that gets your brain moving, is that the act of doing it clears that rusty water out of the pipes. It clears those negative and discouraged thoughts out of the pipes. That’s what this post is – just writing it cleared my head of all that junk – hopefully the junk didn’t all end up on the page, but at least it’s out of my head.
I had a full and an interesting couple of days but it left me feeling and tired and down, so it’s good to remember that in those times, it’s much better to let the water flow rather than letting it stagnate in the pipes.
I was really excited about blogging through some thoughts on Jesus as I approach Easter, but for now, I just needed to clear the pipes and I have to say that as I reach the end of this post and the prospect of getting it up, I feel much better already.